20 Aug 2009

Negativity and Thanks

In keeping with the title, let me say if you are reading this thanks and also that I promise not to dissect things in this detail very often.

I've been working on a layout for Rachael's challenge at scrapgal and I think I'm going to have to call it finished. The song I choose was "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks.

When I first heard this song on the radio I though, "catchy tune, too bad about the language." As it was played (overplayed actually) I started to listen to the lyrics and changed my mind. We all have things which cause us to become a Btch like standing up for our families, a cause we believe in, or just general unnecessary rudeness. Whatever the trigger most of us have that quality, whether we like it or not. So I tried to get over the word, though there are probably some of you who can't especially when its song with the power that she sings it.

My favourite part of the song is the line "I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one." This was the jumping off point for this LO. I tried rolling things together and it was kind of funky but more suited to sculpture, which I'm really bad at, than a scrapbook page. I then searched for an image that represented "all rolled into one" to me and found one at here, (you'll need to scroll down through some of the fantastic photos). Hey, I thought, my life is a story and a story is a book and ... It fits! Perfect! Creative Heaven, I was so happy. Now all I have to do is figure out what to to with it.

First - printing, then trimming off the black since I didn't think this should be in black. I wonder now if maybe should have used it. Carry on, I cut cardstock to extend the pages enough for journaling loosely glued them down, looked at it and said YUK! I'm always too hard on myself, get a second opinion. DH comes home and takes a look, no question I was right. I could see him fumbling for words trying to say something nice. So rip it apart and try again. I'm way better at drawing than I am with scrapping so when in doubt do something know I can do. Using chalks and my pen I've drawn in the page extensions and written the song lyrics on top.

The problem is somehow I've lost the part I wanted to convey with the page.
"I'm a , I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm a mother... ' So I'm listening to the rest of the song, which was always in the back of my mind, and DH says, "how true."

Huh,(Eh depending on where you are), and then I heard last lines for what seems to be the first time.

"I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way "

That is so true! It seems since we've been we that there is a level of self acceptance that has come to me from him, even if he does see the "angel underneath" which I don't think exists.

Anyhoot, I can't make it better without starting over and I've got no idea how I would manage to do it any differently. So I'm going to try out the last line of the song and accept the LO with all of its failings, much like myself.

Without further ramblings for your viewing pleasure, My Anthem

Now onto some other things. Today started, as you might have guessed, on a negative note. There's nothing bad just more gloom and doom. I read the newspaper. I can honestly say "I hate the world today." What's wrong with people?

Then I read somewhere that internet friends "aren't real friends". I think it's true that they are people you have yet to/may never meet face to face but, these are relationships. I believe that in someways the internet friends can be more real. Without the face time people can be more of themselves as some of the social niceties don't have to be observed. Like, I'm feeling really crappy and don't want to go out but I've promised I would. If I'm honest there's a chance I'll hurt feelings. If I go anyways and put on a good face my friend will see that something is wrong and be wondering what? Again, there is the risk of hurt feelings and I can end up resentful - a bad situation.

I know there are fraudsters in cyberspace but there are everywhere. It might be easier for them to hide on the internet but it's just as easy to be too trusting in person.

More ramblings from my morning coffee break. I've come across a lot of online scrapbooking communities which are closing, the result of the recession apparently. I think it's very sad. There seem to have been many friendships made. I hope that they can be maintained and all of the displaced scrappers find new forums.

So for the meat of this post, and thank you again for making to the end.
I am a newbie but not a newbie. I have scrapbooks from when I was 10, though that is a project and a half to repair them. I have been using the internet since before it was called that but never ventured onto the "new" forums. I have been fortunate enough to come across a group of people who have accepted me, even if I did barge in like a Mack truck. The underlying business is professional and seems to be sound, so I hope that the group will continue. I have to say thanks to these gals for giving me a place to call home.

Enough gushing! The house is a sty, the child is hungry, week 3 of the Big Picture Scrapbook course is underway, its getting warm in here, I'm thirsty...

Here's to a positive day

1 comment:

  1. so interesting to hear your process for creating such a cool layout!

    here's hoping tomorrow is better!


Hearing from you makes me smile, thank you!