11 Apr 2010

Uhmm?

Warning
If you're reading this for fun crafty stuff you should probably leave now.

So, my blog is place where I can keep track of wanderings, great ideas, not so great ones, accomplishments, total flops, cool links, and all kinds of good stuff. Sort of an all encompassing journal, right? And then, 'cause I'm that kind of person I like to share with you. Are you interested? It's hard to tell from where I'm sitting. And quite honestly, though I would like you to be, I started this blog for me.

I started it to force myself to deal with the fact that a 4 bedroom house will not fit into a 2 bedroom apartment, even one with a storage locker. There are any number of issues regarding the cultural and climate. I think those would have been easier if we weren't in the west. Western Canada is a foreign place to me too. It was started to work out some of the issues regarding abandoning my home, to come here. Why? to try to make enough money to care for my disabled son after we are gone in the hopes that we can provide for him better care than that which we saw in the public system in Canada. But, this conflicts directly with my belief that if things are broken they need to be fixed and the only way to do that is to try. In fact the whole move was a conflicted mess.

It's not even that I'm unhappy here though, I find it incredibly isolated being cut off from civilization by the great wall of North America a.k.a those infernal mountains. Millions of people here and when I say we last lived outside Niagara Falls the eyes glaze over. Like, come on people, its only one of the 7 wonders of the world. Geography?

I can understand that St. Catharines is an unknown but, when I try to describe where Niagara Falls is and say Niagara Falls is near Toronto and I hear 'I'm not really sure where that is.' I give up! I am from Mars. Ahh, the eyes light up, she knows where that is.

Do I dislike Americans. NO!!!! Unfortunately, I don't meet very many except online and most online personae I don't believe. Sorry, I think there are a few real ones but for the most part people portray what they what others to see. Of course, that is what happens in real life too.

So is this blog helping me? Not really. I box up more crap. Take it to the donation place and yes I am slowly diminishing the amount of it though, I think I need to pick the pace up. But, I feel I can't talk freely about the things that I encounter that leave me scratching my head. The stuff I wanted to talk about. Not because I am passing judgment, but because honestly I want to know. I think that there is heritage and history missing from my knowledge base that would make this stuff make sense. (I'm not talking about govenerment and that stuff. I could pass the citizenship test)

For example Kraft USA - my nemesis. Why is Cheese Whiz different here? Why can't I buy Philadelphia Brand cream cheese CHIP dip here. Where did the Peek Freans go, they were here in '06? ... the list goes on. Why is everything sweetened with high fructose corn syrup? e.g. Coke. Canadian Coke is sweetened with sugar and so is Mexican. wth is a PED XING? What good does painting the speed limits on the road do? I mean, who's going to look for them on the road?

These are just a few examples. I could go on and on but I'm pretty sure that you would be offended or not understand my questions, after all that's 'the way things are.'

Now he says, he's tired and wants to go home. The infernal paperwork has finally got to him. I understand illegal immigration now. I suspect most of it is that the legal route is ridiculous. Oh, and from what I've seen the problem lies not with Mexicans, who, like the Jamaicans in Canada, come in to do work that no self respecting Canadian/American would do. NO, it has to do with educated people who come here get laid off/change jobs/whatever and don't bother leaving. They just lay low until they find another job. For those of us who believe in doing things the legal way well ... Sisyphus! (look it up)

I understand. I'm tired too. I'm tired of the hostility. I'm tired of feeling isolated. I'm tired of not being able to use the parks and playgrounds after dark. They're closed?! I see that as abandoned. Come on people think about it! Are you going to let the thugs win? They are your parks and it is your responsibility to do something! There are not enough $$$ to pay enough policemen or soldiers to clean them up. You have to do it! And, I'm tired of that rant causing hostility and fear instead of motivation. If you can understand the last sentence then, you can understand the cultural difference that I'm trying to overcome. I don't just say it, I believe it, and I live it. And I'm tired of not being able to live my life my way. WTH is freedom?

I'm not particularly unique. I am Canadian. Pretty sad statement about Canadians when the strongest patriotic statement in 30 years was made in a beer commercial.

So the question is do I take this private so that I can freely discuss what I want with myself or are you willing to put up with me?

PS
If you are shy about public comments, there is an email address under my profile where you can get a hold of me.

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